And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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