That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
