She is in my trunk
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
