its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
