At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
