was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
3 2 1 whiskey
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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