no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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