Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
