Define "chronic" masturbator.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
