Don't you send me to vm
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize