Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
