waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
