Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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