his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
