So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize