This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
