I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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