FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
