I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
