..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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