When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
