would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
