Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
