Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
