I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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