ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
