Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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