I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
