It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
