i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
