so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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