how can u be prego again
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
