He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize