dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize