just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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