I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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