My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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