I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize