just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
