Everything about him screamed your future.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
