The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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