So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
