it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I believe in your delicious
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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