I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My pussy is not your playground.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
