fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
