I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
