how can u be prego again
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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