I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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