Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
