if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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