No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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