Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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