I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
