You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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