Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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