I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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