I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize