Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
